It wasn't me, honest.

As if I would steal a pair of David's shoes, then dig a big hole in the patch of garden you have just spent ages putting new plants in. It HURTS me that you would accuse me. Where's the evidence? And anyway, I'm soooooo pretty that you could never, ever be cross with me. Not even when I get you up at 3am and then spend 10 minutes finding the perfect spot in the garden to pee on. Or when I sleep right across the bed so that you have no covers and about 2 inches of bed left to sleep on. I know that I must be a good dog because I can hear than even when you are pretending to tell me off you are not REALLY annoyed. Shall I come and lick your toes to prove how good I am?

Anyway, if I hadn't done it, you wouldn't have an excuse to play this......