Any body could be that gal

No. Tis.Tooli.  No one could be her 

Today we went on an outing which meant association with hoomans 

We were collected first which was lovely. Second stop. One of the passengers was missing and instead of telling them to feck off we collected the other passengers and then did two.full circuits of Puerto and if you know.Puerto you will know that would take over an hour to cross a very little area 

They finally turned up. A dad and two kids who looked like they would rather be any where else.  

On brave woman slow clapped them on to the bus.  As he swore under his breath as he walked on   (think Jimmy Somerville with a ginger Hitler moustache )

It was a further hour and a half (we had already been on the bus for an hour and a half) before we reached our destination

The boat had waited for us and rather being 'only as full as the number of passengers ' it was packed to the gunnels and most on board had already started on the free sangria and beer. 

I managed to nab us a seat and I sat 

I told Himself and Tooli to go explore.  (Upstairs viewing. Downstairs glass bottom)

While they were gone the lovely family to my left went to the bar a further twice. - they had already been about four times 

Loud and Irish and sweary they were not endearing theirselves to anyone

Andy and Lou from Little Germany were also there 

Andy took Lou to the toilet.  A crew member asked if they wanted help. Nien nien. Said Andy. 

He opened the door and pushed the wheelchair towards the toilet.  I can only imagine he hadn't seen the step... And then he started to shout for help.  

By the hand signals. I fear Lou had fallen head first down the pan from the wheelchair 

Two crew members assisted and they were soon able to right him and get him organised and emptied 

I was going to ask the little girl who had watched the whole thing from.behind Andy's legs.  I think that.five year old saw things an adult shouldn't see 

And so it went on.  The Irish family who by now have had about a gallon of beer each all jumped up to announce they would be jumping off the back of the boat. And half of them promptly put on life jackets. 

Yes. Three sails to the wind, unable to swim and they wanted to be able to tell their mates they had jumped off the boat. 

And they did. And were back in their seats in about three minute another drink in hand 

Tooli jumped in and swam came out jumped in again. Came back for.lunch; and then jumped in again 

It was like chaos. I was not mixing 

The dolphins more than made up for the hoomans 

They appeared on cue.  Swam along side the boat and then as we turned into the waves again delighted us all with just for fun jumping along with us.  It was joyous   see extras

Then it was back to the bus..... 

It was six fifteen when we got back on the bus.  The driver counted. We were short 

He got off to check the other buses which all left ahead of us 

He counted again

He went over to the boat

Jimmy Somerville and his.unhappy weans went the wrong way. Yah. They delayed us again. Cue more slow hand claps. Did you know they swear in German just like us 

The drive home was frantic. It said an hour and he did it in a hour. And we were completely beside ourselves to.realise we had entered Puerto.on the road beside out hotel 

We turned up the half mile drive and we could her the murmuring....

'who stays in a hotel THIS FANCY'

Yes Boys. Its us 

It was totally joyous to decamp from.the bus and stroll into our rather fancy hotel laughing like.looneys thru the delights of getting home first

We made it for dinner -fabulous.and then we made it for Bingo and Cabaret singers. 

We didn't win the bingo but for.some crazy ass reason the animations chap handed Tooli a gift to take home and remember us by.  It was a rather lovely snow globe.  

I think he maybe heard me say last night I was gonna mug one of the kids who got a snow globe from Santa 

Pah ha ha ha