Hospital visit

I'm just home from my visit to the Rheumatology clinic. It's been more than 18 months since my last visit as the hospital resheduled my September visit for the following June! I never find these visits cheering but today felt worse than usual. I suppose I'd better issue a rant alert as I can feel one coming.

Rambly ranty bit
I arrived and was seated in the spacious waiting room with magazines and water at hand. That lasted about 3 minutes. Then I was called to be weighed and have my blood pressure taken and sat on a seat in the corridor for an hour facing this wall. Many of these posters - most, in fact, are the same ones that they have had there for the eight years I have been visiting the clinic, though they have half covered the poster asking patients to be patient with one advertising a cycle for a lupus charity.

I saw a doctor I hadn't seen before. As those of you who have followed my moans and groans recently, you'll know that I've been quite sore. The doctor seemed very nice but also seemed pretty keen to give me an array of painful and pretty toxic treatments I have looked into before. I told her that I wanted to discuss this with my GP as I have been through an array of medications for blood pressure and reacted badly to most of them. Whenever I first say that I react to medications, I don't usually feel that the doctor takes this in. My GP is the only one who truly understands this after what is now approaching 2 years of trying to find suitable meds for me that don't cause me to vomit, fall over, have the headache from hell or generally feel so ill that I'm not able to do much.

I took away the leaflets with information on the medication and treatments which are being offered. I found them patronisingly brief and incomplete. They do not list or explain the most serious of side effects and yet they require fortnightly blood tests and have in bold letters that the medication must not be taken if you are not monitored in this way. I find it hard to make an informed choice when I don't feel that there is respect for my cautious approach to medication or properly detailed information. I am fortunate that I have found a GP who I can talk to and will take all of this to him.

I also was lectured about my weight. I used to get lectured about being a smoker. I stopped. Now I'm lectured about my weight. I know I need to lose it and lectures don't help. This is something my GP does not do, thankfully. He encourages all my efforts in that direction but doesn't lecture me on what he knows I am fully aware of.

The whole experience leaves me feeling demoralised. I don't know why it has such an effect because effectively nothing is any different from it was before. I have been living with this condition for well over a decade now and make my choices about which treatments I will or won't accept. I am well informed about it but somehow the hospital visits leave me feeling lousy.

I know that some of you have far worse things going on just now in relation to your health and I'm thinking of you. It just gets to me sometimes. Normal service should be resumed soon.

End of ramby ranty bit

My plan for this evening is to make a quiche with some ready made pastry. My friend K will come over and help me eat it so hopefully that will cheer me up. The sun is beginning to fight its way through the cloud here too so that's nice.

Have a good Monday blippers!

EDIT:

I have taken a few deep breaths and, what's more important, had a couple of glasses of wine with a pal and that works wonders! :-)