Do or diet.....

Pisces: In July, a worldwide shortage of tennis umpires, leads to you being invited to oversee this year's Wimbledon final. You've never actually seen a tennis match before - you're more of a football fan - but surely one ball game's just like another? With advice such as 'yer offside, ya cheatin' bassa ya!' and shouting 'goooaaaaaalllllll' whenever someone's ball hits the net, you're sure to liven up the strawberries and cream brigade. (And I wouldn't take it personally when Andy Murray's mother breaks a racquet over your head.....she's like that with everyone.)

Virgo: Great surprise in October, when you're invited to take part in Mastermind. The producers admit that your specialist subject ('macaroni cheese') is slightly niche, but as you're the only person in the UK who hasn't yet been on Mastermind they're forced to allow it. The questions are relatively easy ('What is macaroni?' and 'What is cheese?') but unfortunately you're thrown by the very first question ('What is your name?') and become the first person in history to score 'nul points'......