Stop The Flooded Clock, Aylesford

I have an alarm clock right next t my bed in case I oversleep on weekday mornings but I'm always awake before it goes off. It has a green digital display that floods a corner of my bedroom. Lately, I've been suffering from insomnia but also quite bad anxiety about my commute so I feel very ambivalent about it's presence. In a weird way when it's 1 a.m. in the morning I'm thinking at least I don't have to get up for nearly five hours (I usually drag myself of bed at round about 5.50) and the fear abates but the nearer it gets to alarm time the more apprehensive I get. Some nights I get a couple of hours sleep at most but strangely have very vivid dreams full of swirling emotions. I will have been commuting for 33 years this year and if anything I'm finding it more difficult not less. I think everything, even the bloody alarm clock, is telling me to kick it in to touch. 
I feel so lucky that my brother helps me through the panic attacks and the catastrophising that I have become a bit of a specialist in over the past few months.
Today's image is not my actual alarm clock (it would be enough to give me nightmares!) but an old kitchen clock that I dropped in water but  happened to have stopped at my morning alarm time and I thought better represented my thoughts visually.
Luckily, today due to the train strikes I couldn't get into work (another day having to be taken as holiday) so me and my brother went for a really enjoyable pub lunch at the Angel in Addington.