Enough with the burlesque already!

Over the past year, the nearby Vanguard theatre has staged Star Wars, Wizard of Oz & Batman burlesque shows (amongst others). Inevitably, 11 months after it kicked off in the USA, Game Of Thrones burlesque has now made it to these shores. The irony of showcasing mostly-naked writhing female performers in a suburb known to have the second-largest population of gay men in Australia appears to have gone unnoticed.

I can kinda see the appeal of Star Wars burlesque, in a kitschy cult-ish funny kind of way. But Game Of Thrones? Really? I mean, how's that play out? It would have to be something like:

-Furs. Lots of furs.
-The occasional diaphanous fluttery bit of drapery.
-Lots of swords.
-More furs.
-Woman in crow costume doing a fan dance.
-Ugg boots.
-Token Breastplates.

Followed by:
-Random running through poorly-lit forest sets.
-Phallic-looking towers.
-Cue extended fight sequence (all but indistinguishable from subsequent faux-fornication dance sequence. )
-Large cold uncomfortable-looking metal throne with the propensity to induce piles.
-Woman (barely) clad in strategically placed faux dragon scales, fondling a large sequin paper-mâché egg.
-Gratuitous S&M sequence a la Joffrey, artistically justified by the use of extra-sheer curtains and a wind machine.
-A Little Person, specially flown in from Lithuania to add a hint of exoticism
-Unscripted cameo appearance by Elvis
-Repeat fight & fornication dance sequences
-Swords & furs (reprise).
Jazz hands!

Curtain.*
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* And if the show *doesn't* play out like that, maybe it should.

Tired. Very tired... Another 13- hour workday. I'm a bit over it. I'm told it was a glorious winter day outside, but I didn't get to see so much as a skerek of it. As you can no doubt tell, I'm scrabbling for something to blip.