Climate change

 News of the week was that Ottawa is going to be very hot. So hot, in fact, that weathermen have been on television looking serious. “It’s going to be hot,” said CBC’s resident climatologist-slash-meteorologist. “Make sure you hydrate.” How hot is hot? Well, it depends who you ask. The general consensus is that the temperature is going to get up to 38-39ºC, but the humidex (and it’s the humidex that counts) could take it up to 49ºC. That’s hot. Around 120ºF…
 
So, the word was on the street and, as usual, the word was absolute bollocks. It was a glorious day, warm and sunny, with not a sky to be seen. Admittedly, I spent much of the day in an air-conditioned house, but on the rare sorties I did make outdoors, I loved it. I tuned in to CBC to listen to the “mitigation” for another crappy prediction: turns out the heat is only coming tomorrow now.
 
Having had my epiphany about work, all I had to do was follow my schedule and not get sidetracked by emails or phone calls or Mrs. Ottawacker’s efforts to get me to edit her prose. And it worked like a charm. I’m a new man. I even plugged in some of the things I had been meaning to do for a long time – like visit my friend Armand in his new condo in the Deep Deep South of the City (i.e., Barrhaven). Ottawa is a weird town: the suburbs are all sort of linked together but pretend they aren’t. So to get to Barrhaven (also known as Farhaven) or Stittsville (also known as Shitsville) or Kanata (which is too bland for a nickname), you have to pack a lunch and drive along highways or go through Deliverance country. Anyway, I risked it.
 
Back home in time to find my suggestion of going for a picnic had been utterly nixed by Ottawacker Jr. And, in fairness, by Mrs. Ottawacker, too. In fact, it seemed my role as Chief Entertainer of the Ottawacker Clan is in danger of being revoked. So I fell asleep in the chair, instead. It’s an interesting thing: ever since I stopped drinking (about 5 weeks ago now), I fall asleep in the chair more frequently.