Enid and Jessie

Many Blippers have been agog.  But not many have been agog to know what Enid and Jessie do in their spare time.  We join them (In Bunty and Ednas' seats) jist efter they have warmed up.....

Enid: ...so l said to her 'Let's face it Mrs Arbuthnott, there really isn't an elegant way to dismount from your unicycle'.

Jessie: But did you no hear aboot her man?  He went into the Bakers and threatened him wi' his putter.  I heard he smashed a display case.

Enid: Well l heard it wis a meringue case.  And he's no a golfer. 

Jessie: That's not whit it said in the paper

Enid:  Aye, but mind on it aye ends up wrapped aroond your next fish supper.

Jessie:  But it's no that easy to bend a putter. 

End:  The paper you neep.

Jessie:  Whitever, l hear his fling with Funcy Punts is over noo.  I don't know how close they got but he claimed she showed him her chihuahua.

Enid: Surely not on their first date?

Jessie: Weel it wis in the back row o' the picture hoose.  There wis a lot of heavy panting.  You'd have thought they would have had enough sense to take some Winalot in with them for Towser.  Some say her ego was roond her ankles.  The usherette asked them to leave when Towser was marking his territory.  He thought they'd gone in to see Rin Tintin.  And she thought she was his Lassie.

Enid: Listen - hot news.  You must mind on the January 1992 meeting of the United Nations Security Council.  It commissioned Boutros Boutros-Ghali to help spread understanding of how the UN itself should react to the fluid geopolitical climate of the time.

Jessie: Let me stop you right there.  You've obviously been speaking to Ida Gowan.  If you say to her that the Co-op is selling Duraglit at £1.80 she would launch into a tirade aboot repressed workers in the Sinai Peninsula.

Enid:  After her recent trouble can Ida still play billiards?

Jessie:  Yes but it's fairly held her back on the xylophone.

Enid:  She blamed her frozen shoulder

Jessie: Of lamb?

Enid: Have you seen that new display at the Art Centre ?

Jessie:  A nudist play?   Surely it'll be a' ticket?


Enid: Well how do you ken a' this?

Jessie:  Weel, l hev to suffer for me art.  Pit it this way, her letterbox has got a very viscious spring on it.

Enid:  I was wondering aboot that plaster on your lug.

Jessie:  It maks you think though, imagine calling a chihuahua Towser.

Enid:  Don't turn roond noo but there he is.  Yet again.

Jessie:  He's aye on aboot Mono Monday or Flower Friday or Thong Thursday.  But he nivir mentions his Woman's Weekly.  A'body kens fine he's no got a film in that camera.  He wis in Fletts butchers last wik for a Blip meat.  Tell me this, is there anyone in this café he's no Blipped at one time or anither?

Enid:  Jessie - do you think this is my best side?

Jessie:  Fit I dinna ken is nae wurth kennin.

Enid:  Did you hear a shutter click?