Bad Dates and Pi$$y Sofas

“Why do you do it to yourself?”

It’s an excellent question posed by my father on hearing that yet another misguided attempt at dating (hate that word) had failed.

I was a piping hot mess this morning, but before I’d had a chance to meet up with my father, I was lucky enough that a good friend had the kindness to lend me their ear and calm me down through an assortment of brews, consolatory hugs and some much needed and well deserved mild piss taking.

Unfortunately, that phrase took on a new meaning when she discovered that the sofa she had very kindly let a heavily inebriated chap (I hasten to add here, that this wasn’t me) stay on the previous night, had been liberally doused in that same person’s urine. 

Thus I was distracted from my morning blues by assisting in the removal, destruction and eventual disposal of the offending item, which due to the sheer volume of urine had understandably now been condemned to the scrap heap. 

Lunch at Wilf’s followed and then I headed off to rehearsal for a couple of hours, where I updated my father on yet another poor choice and he posed his excellent searching question*.

Mentally flagging at this point, I reconvened with my friend and her family for a bucket of top quality hot chocolate and then we hung out for the evening watching trashy telly (Married at First Sight if you must know).

It’s a cliche, but I do feel like I have been on a journey today.

It just so happens that journey had a urine-drenched sofa in the boot…


*The answer by the way is: “Einstein was wrong and continual repetition of past failed attempts will definitely hold the key to unlocking the door of future success**.”

**this is a fallacy and it will not surprise you to hear that I am not as clever as Einstein.