Nora and Maisie go Bananas

Nora:  My Stan's become a New Man.

Maisie:  That'll niver work with Bertie

Nora:  Yes, l've fairly changed his diet.  I managed to wean him aff his pre-heated hay bale by substituting shredded wheat wi' hot milk.  For his lunch l gave him some of those flatbreads wi' seeds.  You ken, the wans that are no a million miles awa fae the bottom of a budgies cage.  He came in early for his tea last night and l happen to have left a peedie cardboard box on the table. He only went and ate it.  Mind you, he put some jam on it.

Maisie:  What aboot, you ken, the underpant Dept?

Nora:  Weel, it's no just his het water bottle that's perished.

Maisie:  My Bertie has the same problem, l've had to put starch in his diet.

Nora: Stan had real bother swallowing his viarga, he kept complaining of a stiff neck.

Maisie: I've got a new saucepan

Nora:  In this chillier weather Stan has spent so long standing with his b-hind at the coal fire that l've had to have him swept.

Maisie: I've got a new saucepan

Nora:  l see Fingers Foubister has been at it again.

Maisie: That's no curious, Annie was furious.  I thought it was spurious. He's not impervious - he's got previous.

Nora:  Well, I'll be damned, he should be banned -  there's no demand for remand.

Maisie:  I've got a new saucepan

Nora:  l hope to see you down the Eventide Club on Thursday.  There's an illustrated talk on Stalin and his secret police force from 1934-36.  You'll mind on Maisie, they were known as the People's Commissariat for Internal affairs.

Maisie: Wasn't it also known as Nsrodnyi Kommissariat Vnutrlenikh Del?

Nora: Precisely.  To paraphrase Mussolini, if Liberals had joined the totalitarian states of eastern europe, nothing would be outside the state but everything would be inside the state.

Maisie:  You try telling her at number 8!

Nora: My Stan noticed Bertie dancing and gyrating about at his allotment.  What can it mean?

Maise.  It must be a twist in the plot.   I've got a new saucepan

Nora: What's this about your bloody saucepan ?  Can't you keep a lid on it?

After the clatter of handbags the janitor tried to part them; other customers ordered tea and toast to sit doon and watch.  They restrained the Jani.