The ten pound tour

"Shhh - I'm talking a load of rubbish but don't let on......"

When he retired, my dad bought himself a black taxi and had great fun playing with the tourists. Occasionally he was lucky enough to pick up foreigners who wanted to take a tour of Edinburgh, and he'd ask them if they wanted "the five pound tour or the ten pound tour". It didn't matter what they chose, they got the same tour.

What did vary was the absolute rubbish that he spouted to the poor tourists, altering it depending on their nationality. So Americans were taken to Holyrood Park, and shown "the spot where your President Truman camped for the night when he visited Scotland". Funnily enough, it was the same spot where past presidents of Italy, France and Australia had also stayed.