All your anticipation pulls you down

I'm getting nervous about starting the new job.   I'm practising my breathing exercises, and sleeping well.  Reading as much as possible and taking at least 30 minutes to splash paint onto paper. 

I received my last salary today, and my P45, so theorectically that's me done and dusted with them, however my work bestie called with a question, which once answered led to an outbreak of all the things which have been bothering her, and how awful her new boss is and what people have said. 

I could feel myself getting very anxious, and about 3 minutes in I said. "Please Stop, I can't do this , I have to hang up". 

I stepped away from the phone, and Si looked at me,  "Pills" he said.  Cuppa Tea?    I sat and wobbled,  and wobbled and wobbled, but I didn't cry.  My heart rate was pounding.   

He took me out for a sprint round M&S Potato Farls don'tcha know and tea cakes for him. 

We drove also to Lidl, to see if they still had fabulous lemons, and they did.  That made me happy too. 

When we got home, Himself made me lunch, and I sat and breathed.  I'm panicking because I lost composure so quickly, but I think it was all work related. 

I ended up in bed sleeping.  Default for panic.   

I'm up again, and I feel better, But I won't be entering into any more conversations about the old work now.