Sadiegate......

Like Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas, I have a publicist who leaks my every move to the papers. (Previous stories have detailed my stint in rehab because of Malteser dependency, and some shameful private photos of me trying to squeeze my fat arse into size 12 jeans....)

Here she is, proof reading her latest 'exclusive', in which she reveals that Blipfoto and I have healed our rift, and will be getting back together sometime soon.

Obviously, most of the details will be wildly exaggerated and over-hyped, but as she only ever sends her press releases to Peppa Pig Publications, I don't suppose it really matters.....