The Colours of Independence

959 photos to edit...and then hand my beauties over to the head teacher to put onto the school website. I'm proud to have been asked to take the photographs at school for events, but it does pain me ever so slightly to hand over my work almost anonymously. I don't know how to even begin with copyright or even if I can, or even if my photos are worth it..but nevertheless, the editing will begin and soon my photos will be all over the website :)

Had the day off today for Independence Day which was nice. I didn't set an alarm, used the exercise bike for an hour and made a nice tuna salad for lunch. Had a spontaneous wailing fit this afternoon which soon passed and I pulled myself together to start more work on my "I can" books. They are basically progress reports of the children in my class, and go home ever six weeks. They are filled with "evidence" - ie, photos of the children matching early learning goals, or examples of their work. The perfectionist that I am takes FAR too long on each one, and I've told my classroom teachers that I want to see theirs for review on October 10th... That crept up. It's also back to school evening on Friday which also came out of nowhere...ahh!!

Went to an Austrian/German club on Sunday with the guys Sabine works with which was really nice. Despite the language/age/culture/personality differences, in an environment like this, you take all the friendly offers you can. It was great to get out the house and see a new place, and offload to non-colleagues about work. One of them said something I was surprised to hear, but relieved I wasn't the only one.

He said, "the one thing about this place that makes you or breaks you is the complete loneliness. There's a certain type of level you reach when you're this lonely, for this long, that it no longer holds negative connotations, but instead you sort of revel in it....You have to, or you'll go insane!"

I'm learning to "revel" in this feeling of isolation from absolutely everything I know and love. I suppose my lack of mental breakdown when my beloved pancake lens smashed proves to me I am definitely becoming 'stronger', but maaaaan, I'm learning that becoming stronger does not mean less tears - at the most bizarre moments!! I am learning to enjoy the unbelievable, the things I do not (and probably never will) understand, and I am beginning to grasp the "Nigerian mentality" - no negativity intended. In fact, there is a lot to learn from my colleagues, the parents and the children about respect and routine, about tradition and what's important. It's a different sort of learning to my experiences in South Africa, and it's a different sort of loneliness too.

As desperately sad that all sounded, I'm actually rather happy, optimistic and appreciative. Bloody hell it's hard living here though.

24 DAYS UNTIL MID TERMMM!