The Old Swan House

Wandering along the Chelsea Embankment this evening I spotted this rather fetching entrance.

However, when I looked it up I'm too late - it was last on the market five years ago. I could be tempted by its views over the Thames to Battersea Park from its second floor ballroom, and its sixteen bedrooms (5 principal ones, 11 for staff) - not to mention the pool, cinema, and the bath carved from a single two-ton piece of rare Samacander marble.

Clearly, behind this calm, swan-like entrance there is all sorts of frantic paddling going on...

But, despite its £32 million price tag, it doesn't even have a garden - so I'm staying put.