Day 21 - Sober for October

D-Day. The car is packed. Almost: just laptop and sponge bag to go in. And Charlie's body board: he's nothing if not optimistic.

The scan will be fine I know. What worries me isn't the procedure: I've had one before, but the implications of screening. The last MRI flagged up a jaw deformation which led to a year of painful, invasive surgery. The dislocating jaw they were trying to fix was a self-limiting reaction to stress. It was the stress which needed treating, not me.

Something is wrong. There's no doubt, but I've seen the debilitation of kidney disease first hand, I watched my son on 24-hour dialysis. I couldn't do half of what I do if my kidneys were poxed. But I worry that they'll find *something*, which like my dislocating jaw could just fix itself with time and healthy living.

But I'm more worried of something lurking and growing unseen.

It's a bit of a bugger either way. Anyway - time to go and live that life I love so much.