Sorry!

... but this was on my office wall when I walked in this evening and put the light on. The room used to be my Mum's bedroom when we were looking after her, and spiders like this seem to gravitate to it. She would often wake up in the morning to find one of these on her ceiling and I would go in with her cup of tea to find her rigidly staring upwards. They only appear during the autumn and I have heard that these are males looking for the plumper females, but I haven't seen any plumper ones.