The Last of the Pansies

This is the last of pansies that I found on my walk this morning. And with the snow and freezing temperatures tonight, I doubt they will survive.

Today was a tough day. We went to visit my mother-in-law at her long term care facility. She has deteriorated significantly since I saw her (about a month ago). Even over the last week she has gone down, my husband said. So, I was thankful that I got here when I did. She wasn't very alert, but when she saw us she seemed to brighten up a bit. I told her that I was back and that missed her and loved her. Then I hugged her. The only words that I could hear was that she loved me more (it's a game we play - when one of us would tell the other that we loved them, the other would say "I love you more", then the first would say, "No, I love you more", etc. ). We left a while later when she drifted off to sleep.

My mother-in-law and I have not always had a good relationship. But over the last fifteen or so years, we have put aside our differences and become good friends which seems to emcompass and even expand beyond just family. I am so thankful that I have this kind of amazing relationship with my own mother - more than mother/daughter and more than friends!

It will be hard to say goodbye to my mother-in-law. But, I know, beyond any doubt, that she will be with the Lord soon. And that brings comfort to her and to us. My only thought now is of making her as comfortable as possible on her final journey.

Yes, our journey is a process. But every process and every journey ends when our belief system finally is proven. We will stand before our God - whether we believe that to be the Lord God, Buddha, Allah, the god of our own making, or nothingness. Death has a way of making us all think deeply and beyond ourselves to who we really are and what we really believe.

Thank you all for your patience with my rambling tonight. I don't often philosophize or "journalize".

Also, thank you so much for all of your stars and hearts for Iggins, Peri and Wally. They are giving you all big kisses and much tail wagging.