Christmas Day- Grammar Pedant

Graham is a Grammar Pedant; he has an internal *pinger* that goes off when he hears grammatically incorrect language used. He can't help it - and I *usually* try my best not to set it off - but as a user of sloppy slang and colloquial language, there are times when I make mistakes (or do it on purpose to wind him up!)

Graham is also not a fan of slogans. Whereas I will lovingly don a band tea-shirt , he usually despises naff catchphrases or advertising, and I was dubious whether my Christmas novelty mug would be well accepted! I needn't have worried - he thinks it's hilarious and actually ASKED me to take his photograph with the mug!

This is a transcript of the mug I didn't buy - but makes me laugh all the same!

1. They're = they fucking are
2. Their = shows fucking possession
3. There = specifies a fucking location
4. You're - you fucking are
5. Your = shows fucking possession
6. It's = it fucking is
7. Its = shows fucking possession
8. We're = we fucking are
9. Were = past fucking tense of are
10. Where = specifies a fucking location
11. Loose = not fucking fixed in place
12. Lose = cease to fucking keep
13. Affect = a fucking action
14. Effect = a fucking result
15. Could've = could fucking have
16. Could of = you're (see 4) a fucking idiot