Aaaaargh!

Remortgage application requires original bank statements.
I do paperless banking so request paper copies.
Will take 2 weeks to come.
Then I will be out of the country for 10 days
By which time mortgage offer will have expired
They also need payslips
My employer does electronic payslips
I need a password to access the system
I don't know my password
IKEA delivers furniture
Furniture is damaged and unusable
I call IKEA customer service
They are "very busy" and wait time is 45 minutes
I go online
Estimated time to respond to my email: 10 days
By which time I will be out of the country

I just want to speak to a human being not an automated system.

I might even cry.

Or go "AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!"