Sides notes to the cosmos

3/10 I resisted a little better and applied a few treatments, though lapsed a bit at lunch.

When I am not studying full time, I am a public sector worker. Sector service means compassion, doing the right thing because everyone is an exception sometimes, being good to deal with not for the tips but for the duty. We're not saints. Like anywhere some folk are good, some bad. But right now, right at the apex of the turn into economic recovery for some, all I see is people getting treated like the pits. And so sometimes that's how they react, or it breaks them, or they were fragile already and the state is driving a pickaxe through their life. They are being forced to move home, go online, manage their rent, lose payments in ways many are just not equipped to face. Sad fact is that occasionally powerlessness breeds bullies or as Virginia Woolf puts it "hitlers are born to slaves". Today I had to decline service to a long term troublemaker for behaving as if we were at his beg and call, monopolizing 4 members of staff on a very busy, understaffed day. His outrage was unpleasant. Many are too scared to take this step, but after 2 hours of it we were actually unable to help him unless he agreed to to accept our help and do some of it himself. After exhaustive attempts to explain what to do, and repeated attempts to get us to do it for him, it was affecting our ability to help other people. I probably should say that this kind of helping is not actually in our job description. In fact we're being told directly to stop helping people in this way so much. So there is only so much we can do, and less if he doesn't actually want help. Probably there are mental health issues at play here, but more the addictive power-kick of a bully. It was a rare unpleasantness. Mostly this job restores your faith in human nature.

And so onto my workload. Don't know when ill sleep but alarm set for 4am to work before work.

Wish I had the serenity of this heliocentric sun