imminent

it is astonishingly beautiful today.

i mean, i lost my breath when i walked outside.

i think the world is charged with magic today. or at least boston is.

the temperature is perfect, the trees are bursting with yellow, orange, and red, and the wind has swept up the leaves and tossed them through the air. it's magical.

i just wanted to lay down and watch fall fall around me.

but also: i felt this imminent fear. that it is all about to fade. while the wind's breath is currently creating a wonderland, it is also stripping the trees of all their leaves.

and this might sound absurd, but im scared.

i feel such intense joy at the sight and smell and feel of autumn, but it is such a fleeting season. the leaves peaked and faded within one week. it is the most beautiful and brief of all the seasons. and the most terrifying because its profound beauty is masking the long, dark, and cold winter.

i feel like im grasping to contain, keep, capture, really, consume fall. and it will not be consumed. the trees will be bare soon.

and in short, i was afraid.