im keep silent from now on

instead of responding my feet led me 'home.' without a word and unconsciously. because my lips were sealed and my voice is unheard. what could i say?

either:

it doesnt matter what i say, you dont hear me. you dont listen. you dont understand. my words are more like verbal vomit. they might as well be. i could say nothing, i could say everything. all you want to hear is "i miss you" and i can never, will never, would never say those words. so instead, i am keeping silent. no more words.

or.

your words crush me. and there is no proper response. nothing will make it better. truth would only kill us all. and i wont kill us all - yet. so instead, i am keeping silent. no more words.

---

at least in this 'home' the words are already there, written on the paper. and my lips move unconsciously. repeat the words and truths i know to be true. thank god for liturgy, or i would be absolutely speechless.

and there is still the Word.





this is undecipherable. don't even try, i just needed to vomit a few more unintelligible words before calling it a day.