Taking care of my human

Despite being huge and having the ability to open canned goods, humans are frail in both body and mind and we must care for them.

Perhaps from ennui or malaise, humans often stare at random inanimate objects for hours at a time. Your duty is to break this spell to remind them that there is life out there to live. Perhaps the worst offender of these objects is the light-box [laptop]. You must remind them that boxes don’t need light, you just need the light of your imagination. See what I did there. Look, I’m an astronaut now, and now I’m a rocket ship and the box is the astronaut – I just blew your mind.

They insist on using water bowls that are too narrow for their heads which means they can not drink in the civilized fashion with your face and your tongue.

Speaking of tongues humans don’t seem to use theirs for anything. You must lick them every morning and remind them that a tongue is a terrible thing to waste. I have no clue how they keep clean.

Besides that cute little tuft on their heads, humans are for the most part sadly hairless. During the day they cover themselves with little body blankets, you must donate your fur to these articles whenever possible. Each night you must curl up on their faces or they will freeze to death.

For all of this we only ask the occasional help opening cans and a clean place to do our kitty business.

Clever human.

Taken (and slightly adapted) from:
PURINA - A CAT’S GUIDE TO TAKING CARE OF YOUR HUMAN.

If you haven't seen this video before - watch it here - I love it!