Stormy weather stormy kids

The weather today has been a bit crazy, just a tad intense hail, sun, rain, gale force winds.

My kids have been much the same which equals a stormy mama.

Mar had his anti anxiety class today and i dread it. I dread how he's going to be afterwards. He cries and really gets stressed leaving there to go to school. It completely mucks him up. He winds up having a tearful day and throws tantrums because he can't deal with all the chaos inside his head.

Tonight has been hell. He's been fighting me and playing up so much that post dinner i was ready to walk out of the house, and perhaps i should have. Not to leave my babies forever. I could never walk out on them but I could walk out just to walk only around the block or 2.

But it rained. So that was that.

So instead I cried and I think Mar got that he'd done too much, he'd gone far enough and more so. He started to behave. Then came bedtime and it started again so in order to have a break and put Harper down i gave him his lego, well what better way to get mums attention - he stuck a bit of lego up his nose and he couldn't get it out. Luckily it hadn't gone too far in so i pinned him and pulled it out with tweezers.

Better add surgeon to my list of skills that includes teacher, nurse, cook, personal assistant to 4 males, cleaner, laundry lady, bug catcher, milk bar, chauffeur-the walking kind, advocate, accountant, personal shopper, disciplinary counsel........The list goes on.

Kanye today fell and hit his head and took skin off his elbow only one hour after being at school. He was extremely grumpy when he came home lovely just lovely. Because I do like to be greeted by shouts for food and tantrum throwing when the food doesn't arrive quick enough.

Harper has been lovely. All day. He's an angel. Do quote me on that when he's 3 and he's throwing food and taking his clothes off and I've become the worst person in the world to him.

I'm so tired. Now as I write this and they're all asleep i still feel the urge to get out, I love them immensely but right now i don't particularly like them. Most days i brush all their nonsense and disrespect off. But there's a point where I can't anymore. I'm there now.

It's tough being a mama and I fear its going to get worse over the years before it gets better.