Wind

Callum returned home from school full of it.

We spent some time in the garden soaking seeds with the view to plant them and catch the early Spring. Well, I say Spring, but actually we didn't have a winter. I wonder what will happen on germination on that front? I made some delicious pancakes, or rather I made some beautifully burnt pancakes whilst giving Callum a long hug and kissie cuddle alongside. Funny that I didn't smell the carcinogenic aromas beside us. Must have been the intoxicating smell of his sticky play-infused hair.

We had lunch in the garden by the rosemary which is in beautiful bloom and ate of its flowers. We blew bubbles. In my London days, I would spend hour upon hour gardening til the sun had set and the air was chill and drizzly. I was in my heaven. I feel quite an urgent need to return back to comfort of nature.

Watched the first episode of S2 HOC. Mouth open wide. Just don't send any spoilers my way for the next few episodes. I do plan to watch it all as I do, gauging on gigantic feasts of it til my appetite is satisfied.

Thoughts I had this afternoon. It took me years to realize that the only one I compete with is myself. Having seen that, it's impossible to view it in any other way. Artists have always inspired me (Avedon, Lindberg, Testino, Demarchelier, Weber, Ritts are those I grew up with and are still amongst my all time favourites, my 1980s Vogue collection being well worn and travelled with me), I'm knocked from my socks when I see their photographs exhibited, wondering in the galleries as I do for hours on end, a lifetime longer than those who have accompanied me. Yet I didn't follow that root at the time, instead, focusing on travel photojournalism for two decades. And when I came back to photographic portraiture, I was keen not to revisit the images that I had always loved because I knew it would distort how I was seeing things. I didn't want that. I wanted to look at the subject and feel that connection, even if at times the connection is not entirely positive. But that I guess hails back to reportage: the connection does not need to be positive to create an artistic representation.

My best work, as I believe is true for all of us if we can overcome insecurities and fears, is that which comes from within, not beyond. Feel it first because that which is borne from your own emotion will be that which represents who you are, will be true to you, will be entirely unique.