Day 99

Not a good day.

I spent a fair amount of the morning trying to sleep some more, I think. I did some productive stuff like confirming appointments. I don't think I felt great. I can't fully remember.

What I do remember is that as afternoon arrived and the hours continued to pass I just couldn't face Tyndale and after a fair bit of battling with myself, I gave in to temptation and cancelled. To be fair I was struggling to deal with the concept of going downstairs to get lunch so I thought that would be a big enough challenge. I don't know that I quite understand myself why I couldn't go in but I did feel fairly certain it wasn't laziness so that was reassuring. I think I was quite stressed by the bible study I would be leading in the evening.

I actually managed to put a load of washing on but my stress levels were fairly high. I went back to bed, slowly ate lunch and felt awful so then dozed until it was time to go to church. I had intended to use the time to do something useful like some CBT but didn't seem able to.

I didn't think the study was very good but I suspect a God will have used it somehow. I now feel a bit all over the place.