This should be our sanctuary

...except that last night it was spoiled.

Fellow blippers, forgive me, but tonight my journal entry is going to be a letter to the anti-social b*****d who kept Corin and I awake until 4am this morning.

Dear Steven
I will write this and try to maintain some semblance of civility and behave in a manner that reflects maturity and courtesy, something which sadly, you and your anti social friends were unable to extend to us last night.

At the age of 27, it was to be hoped, by all concerned, including your Mum and Dad, that having the house to yourself for one night would not cause any problems at all. I admit that when your Mum told me they were going away on Saturday night, my heart sank, but I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I had hoped that you would abide by the wishes of your parents and not cause a disturbance - maybe you would show them respect and that their rebuilt trust in you was worth something.

When I was woken at 1.30 am by the sound of loud music and the inane shouting of a bunch of youths, I knew I had been wrong to believe that you could do the right thing. I don't know you that well - I know only what your Mum tells me - her belief in you never fails, even when you spectacularly let her down - do you know that? She defends you, gives you the benefit of the doubt and finds all the positives in you - she loves you without question. The same way I love my son. The same boy you disturbed last night.

By 2 o'clock, your party had disturbed all three of us. Ironic isn't it, that out of respect for your parents, you kept your party with your friends to your bedroom, because you knew that if you made a mess in the house, it would not go down well. But your bedroom is only separated from ours by a single wall. Your bedroom window, that you and your friends were hanging out of smoking a variety of things is right next to ours and was wide open.

By 2.15, tired, angry and not knowing when there would be an end to your noise, I took a sleeping tablet and went to James' bedroom to see if it was better in there. It wasn't. Shortly afterwards, around 2.30, your escapades caused Corin to finally snap - he NEVER snaps like he did last night - he screamed out of the window and spoke to one of your associates, told him we could hear EVERYTHING (and let me tell you that some of the conversation was distinctly worrying) and made the point that basically, you were all being unreasonable and disrespectful. We climbed back into bed - 2 or 3 minutes later, someone shouted back out of the window, and when he got no response, banged violently on the bedroom wall behind our bed.

At that point Steven, I went to find the number for the call centre for the Police. Do you know the only thing that stopped me from calling - it wasn't any respect for you, because any respect I did have, disappeared at 1.30 in the morning. No, what stopped me was knowing how upset, no, Devastated, your mum would have been to know that the Police had been called to her door. I hope you realise that the only reason that you are not in trouble (and you know it would have been trouble for you) is that we have the very greatest regard for your Mum, Dad and younger brother.

Corin had to go downstairs - because you all continued to behave as a bunch of football hooligans might behave after too many beers. At 3.45, the last time I looked at my clock, it was starting to settle. Sleep finally came for me then. Corin - because of anger and andrenaline, took longer to settle. He had no respite in the intervening time, because there was absolutely nowhere in our house where sanctuary could be sought from the disturbance you created.

The worst was yet to come of course - because your Mum saw me this morning to ask how we got on - and I could not, and would not, lie to her - she would have seen it in my face. She was mortified. She couldn't apologise enough. Despite my reassurances that we were in no way upset with her or your Dad, she was utterly embarassed, and BEGGED me not to tell your Dad, because it would ruin your new-found relationship with him. How dare YOU put me in that position.

The final insult of course was your "apology". Let me explain to you how an apology should work. You should take the time to come and see the person you are apologising too. You should look them in the eyes and choose your words carefully, deliver them with sincerity and your eyes should be the measure of how true your words are. You should also give the person that you have apologised to the opportunity to explain how your behaviour affected them.

So, Steven, you have not yet apologised. Walking past our front garden with one of your friends, looking over at us and say "Sorry about last night. I didn't mean to disturb you" and walking off....worthless. You clearly aren't sorry, don't realise the impact that you had on our family last night, which has subsequently spilled into our day today because we are exhausted.

Anti-social.
Selfish.
Disrespectful.

Words that come to mind about you right now.

Forgiveness.
A word that I cannot contemplate showing you. I will not give you 'forgiveness' because you have not demonstrated that you understand your behaviour and it's impact. You do not deserve to be let off the hook so easily.

The sad thing is that I suspect that even if I did send this to you, you wouldn't care.