Long rail traveled

Today was a funny day after a sad day Sunday hidden from the world I went doggin in the morning with Dexter, thank goodness for that little dog. I was meant to go with a friend to Michelham Priory but the friend let me down again, they had already pulled out of Sunday when i was banking on the distraction from M day! But I do understand that others are dealing with their own lives just makes it hard when you are self destructing inside because it fuels the "don't trust anyone, or you are hated" voices.

Then came home and decided the best and safest place for me at the moment is round people who truly understand and can support.

Went to the Corner House, was welcomed and played Yatze with someone who was one of the leading bio chemists for Galxo and who has autismu which rules their daily life with rituals, and panic and inner voices. Their life has changed beyond recognition since a death in the family and now lives alone, lost their job, and suffers daily torment from themselves. They struggle to make it out of the house each day, because of the inner voices, criticizing and berating. It was so "nice" to hear someone else is struggling and that actually my demons are less than others. It was a good feeling to be in an environment where acceptance and understanding is easily given with no edge. I had a healthy lunch, and did some painting to try and let some of the stuff out.

When I traveled home I stopped at the railway station and took this picture because sometimes it feels we have to stay on the same tracks and cant get off, or it feels like we have derailed and cant get on.

I hid for the rest of the day.