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so im back in the chicago-land area. its good to be here.

its like a litmus test. returning home.

i feel different. distinctly different. i think i finally feel like an adult here. in the place where i constantly find myself battling that 16 year old self.

i sense myself resisting what my brother jon and i have begun to refer to as "typical micksch." the most distinctly micksch thing, in my opinion, is the precise calculation of how much time it will take to do something, which is inevitably far too optimistic, and the refusal to leave any room for error. packing, is therefore, stressful. getting to the airport on time, always a battle. being on time to anything is a challenge.

i think ive started resisting this since my war with boston public transportation began. i am now early to the bus stop and leave well in advance of when i need to be somewhere. or, at least, i try to. micksch is very ingrained in me.

its strange to me. its like you cant imagine the world operates a different way until you allow yourself to be close to people who do it different. on a small scale these things include how i didnt know most people in the world do not cut their pasta. or folding clothes. everyone else's clothes were always folded so neatly. i didnt learn how the rest of the world did it until last year. seriously. i delight in folding clothes now. every time i feel like im let in on a big secret.

on a larger scale: procrastination with an absurd mix of perfectionism. its a ruthless combination.

i digress.

its good to be home. i continue to learn about myself. the more time i spend away, the more i return home.