peaceful sunday

i needed today like breath in my lungs.

i awoke peacefully. looked out the window and saw the steady fall of drifting snow. oh beauty.

went to brunch with ryan. his hands and our coffee are the subject of this photo. we sat next to the window, a lovely view. good conversation. a lot of me talking, ha. i was reminiscing about caldwell christmas last year. always a good time for me.

we went back to his house and i was finally able to play rock band. all my dreams were coming true today. i am terrible, but its so fun nonetheless.

then i went and read at starbucks with ryans roommate while ryan worked. joel kept stopping and reading me passages and asking me what i thought of them. when he said, "im sorry ill stop interrupting you" it occurred to me that him interrupting me was one of the best parts of the day. i didnt need to read. he could ask as many questions as he wanted and we could discuss for as long as we wanted because i didnt have anything to read for class or papers to write.

its so nice to exist again.

i feel the world has been spinning rapidly out of my control and it is finally coming to a halting stop. so startling that i am shocked by the calm.

the snow outside mirrored this. theres something perfectly still about being warm inside while a storm rages outside.

At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless;
Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,
But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity,
Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards,
Neither ascent nor decline. Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.
I can only say, there we have been: but I cannot say where.
And I cannot say, how long, for that is to place it in time.

ts eliot. always saying everything best.

blessed sunday.