Time to learn

Bit of a personal one tonight. I'll try not to make a habit of it.

There were times when I thought that I don't have BPD anymore. But then something happens - and bang, something happens, and I can see that yes, without a doubt, I do.

I may have gotten better at managing it but it's all still there.

And it hurts like hell.

Yet it passes. But that doesn't change how intense it feels at the time.

But further down the line, once it's passed, I couldn't actually tell you what a lot of the BPD stuff was about. I can remember intense feelings... urges... hurt.... anger... but not always specifics.

So I've realised I need to make an effort to record some details. Not a diary, but some notes on what I would call my BPD episodes are things that are very BPD.

I need things to be easier. I need to not feel things as intensely. I need to learn.

So here's my brand new notebook. I can but try. .