Plunder from the Nursery

When we're on the west side of Michigan, we like to stop at this HUGE nursery in Allendale. The only problem? This time the we was just me, and I don't know my begonias from my petunias. So, I just went for pretty colors.

I wasn't going to tell one last story from the golf tournament...but...my guilt got the best of me. You see...I was unceremoniously tossed from the tourney.

As I was sitting on the grass at the 9th hole...I thought...I wonder why there isn't any heckling in golf. I've never been a heckler...but it takes place in every sport except golf and tennis. In both those sports...silence is the norm.

But...no more. I chose some good names and started in on the boys as they came up to the 9th hole.

CHIP JOHNSON: "Hey Chip...that chip was so bad that your mom is thinking about changing your name!"

ED KIRBY: "Hey Kirby...you're just like the Kirby vacuum sweeper. You suck!"

ANDREW OLDCORN: "Hey Oldcorn...were you any better when you were Youngcorn?"

LEE RINKER: "Hey Rinker...that putt was a stinker!"

BOB TWAY: "Hey Tway...why'd you go that-a-way?"

STEPHEN AMES: :Hey Ames...your aims were way off on that one!"

BRAD FAXON: "Hey Faxon...you need better...facts on...your yardage."

And finally...

NICK JOB: "Hey Nick...perhaps you should have stayed with your last job!"

3 course marshals approached me (the ones in the fancy red jackets.)

"Sir...we're going to have to ask you to leave."

They didn't even let me wait for the shuttle...forcing me to walk back to my van. I kept heckling as I walked away. "You call yourself marshals? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? MARSHAL DILLON?"

Disclaimer: Believe what you may.