At the hair salon

Anniemay is an outdoor girl at heart. If there’s a bit of muck involved and a bit of fear, she’s as happy as a pig at Alton Towers. She thinks nothing of abseiling off high buildings or descending into the bowels of the Earth to squeeze through tiny gaps in wet and slimy rocks. There is, however, one proviso to all this apparent bravado.

A few years ago I suggested riding our bikes across the North of England from the Irish Sea to the North Sea. She took her time mulling it over because this venture presented her with her worst nightmare.

At first she wondered if she’d actually be able to cycle that far. Or if she'd be able to cycle up and over the Pennines. And then she feared the long descents. This is were it got a bit tricky. For all her adventurous spirit, she is pants at riding down hill. She cannot descend without the brakes on full. Smoking wheel rims in the distance signal her steady progress from hilltop to sea.

But all this was nothing compared with her real fear, the question that kept her awake at nights; “where will I plug my hair straighteners in?”

Anniemay takes her hair very seriously. Any venture that takes us away from home for at least one night has to factor in the paraphernalia required and faciltities necessary to maintain her filamentous biomaterials in her accustomed manner.

The person who organises this when we are away from home is me. I have to make sure that any hotel/B&B/Gite/tent/bivouac/hedgerow has sufficient power to drive a hair dryer and hair straighteners.

The person responsible for all this at other times is the other person in this photograph. Debbie has been taking care of our hair for about 20 years. She cuts mine very quickly while Anniemay’s is resting between stages.

Last time she cut my hair she asked if I wanted any “product”. I said no, thinking it a euphemism for something a bit naughty. But it turns out to be a modern word for what my Dad used on his - Brylcreem. Once we had cleared up any misunderstanding I agreed.

With my hair now looking cool and a couple of blips in the camera I left them chatting about gardens, husbands and underwear.

When Anniemay eventually came home I gave the correct responses (albeit with some prompting), noting changes of colour and length.

She looked at my photo and said “not many husbands get to see that bit”. I don’t know if this is a good thing or not.