I'm innocent - honest!

Ernie's trying to make out he had nothing to do with all this mess. I have to confess to you - here and now - that it was both of us.

I can't exactly claim innocence, seeing that I have been snapped with the evidence in my mouth.

But Ernie - he needn't pretend to be so pure. I mean, he found the toilet roll. All I did was help shred it. There's absolutely no evidence to say it was me that found it. Was there?

It's so cold outside we can't go outside to play. Ernie has far less fur than me and really feels the cold. So what's a boy and girl to do? We play with found objects, that's what we do, and if it happens to be a toilet roll so be it.

I think I'll quit while I'm ahead.