Ouch

So there I was quietly cutting salad with a lovely sharp 8"cooks knife.
J comes into the kitchen behind me.
J has a major wobble and grabs me for support.
J's wobble develops into a full scale collapse onto floor, clutching on for dear life spinning me around and pulling me down on top of her.
I was too thick to drop the knife immediately J grabbed me so there we are, J slumped in the corner nursing a very bruised arm after whacking it on the edge of the work top and I'm still spinning and falling onto J and STILL clutching the knife. At this moment brain kicks in. Thinks:
Must not stab J
Must not stab self
Must not land on J (I'm FAR TOO heavy for her to survive intact)
At last decided to let go of the knife so it falls to safety.
Spin like a cat in mid air (a fat cat in a non banking sort of way) and crunch to the floor just missing J.
Reach up to cooker to pull tuna pan off just in case we need to visit A&E.
Mega double ouch but apart from the bruise, no real damage done.
Eat dinner.
Yum.