Finding my calm

Al and I took an early morning bike ride...I know he's trying to help me find my equilibrium.

I found a heron in the fog...and he calmly sat still from the beginning of our 10 mile ride until we returned. This scene conveys my feelings perfectly...foggy and filled with uncertainty...while at the same time filled with promises of good things to come.

This weekend our family is saying good-bye to my sister. She died a few months ago, but this weekend is the first time we could be together near the place she spent most of her life.

Her children will be at my home, as they should be. They were like my own children all the time they were growing up, and I hope to continue to be a second mother to them all.

Since the memorial was planned both Al and I have discovered we each have a brother fighting cancer. Mine will be at the memorial, but isn't telling anyone because he doesn't want it to be about him. So not only are we remembering our sister, but we are facing the fact that next time we get together, many will be missing.

And in spite of the sadness, I know we'll make new memories tomorrow...sharing our love for Linda and the life she lived, and sharing our love for each other...the cousins, the aunts and uncles, the children and grandchildren who couldn't exist until she did.

So I will watch and listen, and take in each precious moment with these people who have filled my life. And I'll know she's doing the same.