Pooh/ Schadenfreude

....is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.

I never really considered myself to be a wicked person, but....

I'm off to Twisterland again tomorrow, so I called the Princess' Mere, to arrange a flying visit before I go.

"Call me back in a few minutes" says The Mere, "Bit of a crisis here..."

So I boiled two eggs and called back.

"Whats the crisis?", says I.
"Your Child, (why is she always MY Child when things go pear-shaped?) "was playing outside, and arrived into the house with an "Oops" on her lips!"
"What happened now?", says I.

Cue a stream of breathless, exasperated, profanity peppered invective...

"Dogshite!!! Her coat and everything covered in DOGSHITE!!!!" was the gist of it.
I started to laugh, but trying to hide it...
"And I have to clean it- its effin DISGUSTING!!!!!!"
I got a pain, a real pain, in my chest....

Finally, the dam broke.

"ITS NOT FUNNY!"

"I know" says I, "But can you make sure the shits off her shoes before you drop her down to me?"

The sound of the phone hanging up matched that of my ribs cracking....

The Princess has just arrived.
She assures me that it wasnt her fault, and I believe her.