Waste not want not

Had a group of zombies at the door trick or treating. I hate trick or treaters so I sent them away empty handed, or in the case of one of them, one handed. It was just there on my doorstep when I turned to go back in the house.

I was going to have a bacon sandwich for breakfast this morning, but this looked tastier and I'm sure won't leak scummy water into the pan so that it boils instead of fries. I hate it when bacon does that. I dread to think what they have done to the meat to achieve that effect which lets face it is highly undesirable.

I don't normally do jokes, but this one on another forum made me smile. There were several more but I deemed them to be unsuitable for sharing in a nice place like blip where rumour has it there are ladies about.

My dad worked on the roadwork’s for twenty years before he got fired for stealing!

At first I didn't believe it.... but when I got home all the signs were there.