'Mum, I've got to build a church'

Tom has not had The Calling. Nor has he got designs on becoming the next Christopher Wren. This is RS homework, which we have foolishly, inevitably, left until The Last Day of Half Term.

Racking my brains to think of ways to build a church in a day, I suddenly remembered an Ikea DIY gingerbread house kit that has been lying around in my secret Christmas drawer for about two years. A quick trip to the corner shop for icing sugar and food colouring and we were in business. We made stained glass windows out of wax crayons melted with a heat gun. Insanely clever and effective - I stole the idea from Ukulele Hayley's pumpkin. The spire was tricky and doesn't bear close inspection. Tom had the genius idea to make gravestones out of iced coffee biscuits so we may have to 'set' the bloody thing in a graveyard scene now.

Right, that's the church knocked up. Now we have to crack on with a Biology homework poster of a Blue Whale, a history essay explaining the four main causes of WWI and Sal's street art project. Washing, eating and getting dressed will have to wait ...