Treated Like a Wipe Carpet

When it comes to technology, I've always been last. Last to get a ghetto blaster, last to get a walkman, an i-Pod, a computer that didn't use Pascal as its language, broadband instead of dial-up and until today, a wireless connection.

For months I have had neckache, backache and faceache from slouching over my computer attached to the broadband hub but today I have my exciting new toy. Big deal, I hear you say, but now I am free to roam and I feel untethered and wild.

On looking at the postie's delivery note, though, it seems I am last to know that a doormat is now known as a wipe carpet. Or were you unaware of that too?