The other thing...

Annoyed myself with my procrastination today. Just couldn't get the work engine revved! Serves me right having had my smug hangover yesterday. As I wasn't feeling as productive with work, I set about sorting my office (long overdue - am currently camping in the old nursery with a dressing table as a desk!)

Went to my counselling session for my post natal depression and the counsellor kept me waiting half an hour which made me late to pick up Squidge. I wasn't impressed so told her we needed to make it 10mins not half an hour. She said she had been thinking about my sessions and wondered if I'd like to move away from the 'dealing with depression' angle and talk to someone different about not wanting any more children (which she thinks is related to my depression, I'm not so sure). She thinks while I'm on the anti-depressants I am coping really well so the sessions we've been having seem a bit wasted on me. I agreed. So am now on a waiting list to see someone about the other thing.

I say other thing like it's just a throw-away subject but I can honestly say I battle with my decision about whether to have any more children every day. At the moment, it doesn't feel right but I'll be interested to explore it with someone who is open-minded and who I don't know. I'm glad of the opportunity. It's tormenting me. I worry that I may regret my decision not to have any more and at my age, time isn't on my side. This feels like I'm doing something positive and I hope to find out one way or another in the next year what is right for me/us.