Lego Saga

Previous Episode

With the Justice League of America looking for the Not-So Incredible Hulk's murderer, Sidney has gone to ground which has left Tim with some spare time on his hands. He's hooked up again with the Stig as a publicist and is intending to reveal his true identity. However they're doing a few news shows in the run up and it appears all isn't well.

Anchor: Tonight we're delighted to welcome Tim from the as yet unnamed punk band and he's got some exciting news about The Stig.

Tim: Hello miss. Yeah it's an exciting time as we're set to reveal who the Stig really is! It's not Damon Hill, nor that rally driver that pretended to be the Stig and released that book that pissed off Clarkson.

Stig: Burp

Tim: *whispers Stig, can you lay off the sauce just for two minutes?

Stig: yesh, but you don't undershtand.... really you'll never undershtand. Nobody -hic- undershtands..

Anchor: Ummm, is he alright?

Tim: Yeah he just has a little too much love for Jim Beam. It's fine he never does it when he's driving. In his 'real' life things have been tough, it's why he's turned to the drink. The work has dried up in his real career, the papers have been on his back and since he reached drinking age he's found tha the ol' Beam tickles his fancy.

Stig: Shhhsssshhhhhh. This is coca cola. I don't drinksh alchy hole.

Anchor: So, moving swiftly on. When do you propose to reveal his true identity?

Tim: We're going to do it in a blip later this week. We're here on the news channel (?) to promote it. However we're going on that chat show with the famous presenter and we're going to do it then. It's going to be massive. Top Gear are pretty hacked off, but it makes a change for someone to be pissing them off rather than the other way round.

Anchor: Right. So why do you have a newspaper in your hand?

Tim: It's kind of an appeal. Page six begs for my band mate Sidney to come back. Some pretty powerful people think he beheaded Average Hulk and he's goneinto hiding. If you're out there Sidney, please come back.

Stig: Shtig says come back. baby come back, come back with me coour tv and me CD colleshion of Bob Marley...

Anchor: Is he always such a dick?

Tim: Not when he's driving cars. However he was a right annoying little git before he donned the helmet. You'll see.

Stig: Avra kar sharva.....

Tune in tomorrow or sometime soon (depending on how busy I am) to see who the real Stig. Can you guess who it is?