say nothing...sometimes it's better that way

Oh, if only I could live by that rule!

(Do those eyes look like they belong to someone who is up to mischief? Well, that's good, because I am...but I will not tell!)

Rant Number 1:
Somewhere in the world, there will be a recording of a conversation between me and a salesperson from Sky, made yesterday.

It began nicely enough - a courtesy call. I thought nothing of it. A number of questions asking me if I had figured out all of the technical wizardry associated with the sky plus box. I was polite. I resisted the urge to tell them that I am literate and can read the manual. I also resisted the urge to tell them that my 9 year old son figured it out so it can't be that tough.

Then, the salesman that never needed to take a breath started wittering at me about a policy that they offer to all sky customers, which extends the manufacturers warranty on the equipment, covers against accidental damage, all for the bargain price of £8.95 per month. I let him talk - I didn't want to interrupt him - it would have been rude (wouldn't it?). I feared that if I interrupted him and he had to take a breath, that might spoil his flow. So, on and on he wittered, me saying nothing, him clearly thinking he'd got a live one on the end of the phone, when he says ..."blah blah blah and so if I could just take your bank details and we'll set that up for you".

"Can I just stop you there?" says I "And can I just check that this conversation is being recorded?"
"yes it is"
"Firstly, I am not interested in spending an extra £100 per year. Secondly, I am pretty certain that you have to ask the customer whether they are interested in the product BEFORE you ask for their bank details. I'm right about that aren't I? Yes, I thought so. Thanks for your time. Bye"

The poor man was probably falling off his chair, trying to take a breath as I hung up.

How bloody rude.

More to the point, if that was someone a bit less savvy (I like to think of myself as savvy sometimes), then they might have fallen foul of the "talk without pausing" sales strategy...it's the sort of thing I think my Nana might have fallen for.

It's wrong.

I'm sure there's something very naughty about it too.

Rant number 2

There should be lanes in shopping centres dependant upon whether you are a moocher or someone who knows what they want and where they want to get it from. There should also be stopping points for people to chat. Oh, yes there are - they're called coffee shops and cafes.

So at 9 in the evening, when the Trafford Centre is quiet, how do I manage to get repeatedly stuck behind slowpokes and chatterboxes and people who randomly stop dead in their tracks for NO APPARENT REASON.

All I wanted was a memory card, a bra and Goldfrapp's new album.

You should have to take a test to make sure you are safe to be allowed out in public.

I was successful in my mission though, despite the shopping demons trying to stop me!