I don't need a book.

"Feed me"
"Pay more attention to me"
"Let me in that room I'm not allowed in"
"I'm sorry did I get my hair on you?"
"I'm bored. Entertain me"
"Why is my bowl empty?"
"Why did you empty my poop out of that? I'm just going to have to do it again"
"Let me outside so I can escape"
"How come you're petting her/him and not me?"
"I didn't MEAN to catch my claw on you"
"Was that your head I just jumped on?"
"What do you mean it's a water bowl and not a paddling pool?"
"Why can't I climb on your dinner plate?"
"I think you'll find that IS mine..."
"You're in my stretching space. Excuse yourself"
"Why is that cat that looks just like me not trembling in fear at my ferociousness?"
"Why are you sleeping when it's time for feeding?"
"Please don't blind me with that thing"
"Isn't it amazing how the bowl magically appears with food?"

And so on and so forth.

I could have written this book.