The sound of my failure

Why don't they tell you- when you are still at school-that you do indeed need to make your life choices there and then, why do we not learn every available job know to human kind so we can choose there and then or at least narrow our choices downs then?
Why was my school so terrible? Why was I so dumb? Why did I make all the wrong choices???
Why didn't I know that there would come a time in life where the luxury of change isn't so easy as you get older. Or as affordable. (I'm only in my 30's by the way) : \
However...
Why didn't I know back then that life would be full of disappointments and miseries one after the next as routinely and as rhythmical as breathing (assuming of course you are not asthmatic)
Why wasn't I born a pushy person, confident, driven and born with a nose poised and ready to smell out the road to success, born with the killer instinct to go for the jugular of career.

ARGHGHGHGHhhhhhh (insert expletives here) ARGHGHGHGHHHHHHhhhhhhhh


This is the sound of my failure


ok I'm off out to walk and rethink my life, I shall resume some sort of cheerful normalcy tomorrow.
I thank you for you time.