sleepless

I'm exhausted. 2 nights of very little sleep, with another on its way. I have had insomnia before, and I always get a little scared when I have a couple nights with no real sleep.
4 years ago, I had diagnosed insomnia for almost a year. It was pretty bad. During that time I became heavily dependent and addicted to well known sleeping pill that is still on the market. It was a God-sent, really. It worked, just a little too well. I got to a point where I wouldn't even try to sleep without it. and when my doctor stopped writing me perscriptions, I went elsewhere, and used all the connections I had until eventually they ran dry. So there, my only real vice. Not hard drugs, not an eating disorder, not a person. It was just something that got me to sleep, and turned off my brain long enough to let me rest. It turns the switch off.
So, here I am, afraid once again that insomnia will creep it's way back until my life and I will be a wreck, again. I'm hoping it's just our four-legged kids that are keeping me up, or the heat and not the constant running of a mind that won't shut off, won't stop worrying about....everything.
I remember this feeling. This restless, sinking awake feeling.