an ocean awaits

I saw my parents last night. I hadn't sat across from them in a while, just me and them. It was nice. We sat and talked for an hour and half and the time just flew. I need to make an effort to see them more, I only live 5 minutes away, but rarely go by and visit. We are very close, it's just not often when I get to see them on my own, my sister or other family is usually around. I need to get over there more, I don't know how much longer I will only be 5 minutes away.
My sleep last night was sound for 2 hours, I was tired and after a shower I could feel myself unwinding. A little after 2 am, our cat was ill and first N woke up, then me. After all was cleaned up, the light was turned off, I laid there awake for what seemed like forever, my mind being shook open. I was exhausted, then awake, then exhausted, then frustrated. Me awake in the dark, listening to his deep even breathing.
This morning I feel hazy and blurry. And all at once everything is loud and bright.
I feel like I'm being pulled by a current, into a bright choppy unforgiving sea.