Callum with Reuben's birthday cupcakes

More please!

This week:
Sunday: Reuben's 3rd birthday
Monday: Afternoon tea in the garden
Tuesday: Dinosaurs love birthday cake too


Here Callum showing there's nothing finer than a fairycake and tea in an English bone china cup. Some of the lovely cakes brought along by friends to celebrate Reuben's birthday.

Been quite a while since my last cupcake shot

Or are they fairycakes? Who says what where?

In medical news: Reuben's getting a little bit better day on day although has been severely traumatized by what's happened to him and is in shock and depressed. In a review today, it was decided to try again in 2 weeks to downsize his trach and then attempt to take it out again (decannulation).

I appealed for an extension of services for a month to allow him to return to UCLA, have PT, OT and speech til the end of May rather than expose him now to a new school under the LA school district. Today the joyous news came that he has been approved. It didn't occur to me that it would be recouperation not only for Reuben, but for me. I am so institutionalised now, so dependent on the level of care we receive for Reuben and yet that is why it's there: not only to serve the kids but the rest of the family too. So this along with hippotherapy (horses) and tonnes of unconditional love and patience, we hope will bring back the joy and spirit in Reuben that we so sorely miss. It's heartbreaking to watch him point repeatedly at his trach as if to say "Why" and to cry uncontrollably and rub his nose as a comfort throughout the day unless he's in our arms. In the commotion of emotions, the thoughts of how the trach will again affect our lives, the intensity of care and the safety of maintaining an artificial airway associated with it, the disappointment of not being with my family right now in London, the end of school and services snatched away for us, the explaining to be done, nevermind the harrowing experience of intensive care, did we ever stop to think, How does Reuben actually feel to have his trach back?

Still, little by little, tiny steps by tiny steps, each day he grows back to being more like himself. I saw a flicker of excitement and the "play area" signs we use for the playground when I suggested it and he found some enjoyment there. So too, his face lit up when I mentioned that the speech therapist would be at home waiting for us. Yet he has said maybe only a handful of words since his return and barely two handfuls of signs.

Thanks guys for all your support. I can only apologise for not having the good manners to write back, but, slowly, I'll get there. My camera's been put aside for other than a brief moment each day as we know it's not the picture taking but the processing afterwards which might occupy our time and my usual night time activity of doing just that has better been devoted to sleep.