Summer Plumage of the Great British Male

[David Attenborough]

Nowhere in the world is the distinction between summer and winter plumage of a male of a species more pronounced than our very own shores of Great Britain. While arctic hares and ptarmigan will go from camouflaged white to equally-unidentifiable brown as the weather turns from snow to sun, the male of the human species does things.. rather... differently.

Here we can see a young male of the genus Homo Embrian, and immediately you can see the winter plumage, often a dark colour and hiding the true form, has been replaced by glorious white. The summer coat is referred to as 'peely-wally' and we're lucky to see it. Only occuring when temperatures and sunshine are sufficient, this North European inhabitant is a classic example. Not only is the plumage a lovely pale hue, but the male is also in full 'scrawny'. A male in scrawny and displaying summer plumage is on the hunt. For a female.

When in season the mating calls will ring out, a perfect sing-song lilt designed to impress females of the species. "Alrigh' dahlin'" may be followed by "Fancy a shag?". The female will respond, assessing the male's ability to provide her and her brood with sustenance through the coming winter months, her call of "Gonnae push us a fag?" or "Gie's a swallae o' tha' buckie" signalling her consent to approach by the male and, within moments, copulation.

[/David Attenborough]

Apologies for the wildlife pic after, not long ago, I'd promised to try and get some more interesting shots, but the summer plumage was just magnificent. And to catch the waistband underpant decoration as well. It's really just a pity Springwatch has finished, though I hear in Autumnwatch Simon King is going to be doing his bits from Wester Hailes and actually filming these creatures as they mate and raise their young. Magnificent.

Writing nonsense. A simple pleasure.

Discarded option: I'm a Little Teapot.